Silenced Remorse
by PlatinumNacht
Summary: One shot. Nothing special, just maybe a little justification or insight as to...why (?) for Seph.


A/N: This is a first shot at something that I never thought I would do. I really don't want to murder the story of Final Fantasy VII, but this was gnawing at me ever since I learned that fanfiction had a place somewhere. It may not be good and I'm certainly not saying that it's true but I have this thing for dear Sephy. I only once hated him throughout the entire game and that was when he killed Aries. Up until and after then, he was loved once more and not just because.well look ^_^ I love the character and I'm apologising now for the OOCness, but I wanted to maybe make a point at least to myself. Replies are welcomed (I have a dragon as back up for any lack of flames, however unlikely it may be, so you don't /have/ to flame me ^_^) but this is really what it is, and it's just a fanfic. My whole take on the situation anyway. Have fun (well if not with the story, then putting my dragon out of commission should be).  
  
A silenced Remorse  
  
Etched from non-coherence by Platinum Nacht.  
  
Ten. There were originally ten Sephiroth, though with what's being talked about at this moment, I mean the pillars of Sephiroth. It wouldn't surprise me if it was the reality though. Those clones, the tattoos. There were more than ten there, I know but you were always so careful, weren't you? So extra careful when it came to an experiment. I suppose then, I wasn't a very organised experiment. Careful wasn't a word I'd known with you then.  
  
Maybe in the end when everything was exposed under an impossibly powerful light, was anything revealed.  
  
"Wake up, Cloud."  
  
I can remember saying that. You didn't understand, but then you couldn't have, I reason. Just as I couldn't do anything to stop what I was, you couldn't do anything to understand what I was saying. A puppet with its strings cut? Of course, but who wasn't?  
  
I know who. I should have known before anything had been started but I think some part of me wanted what was offered.  
  
I threw my life into something else; something that 'father' didn't fully comprehend. Yes, I was becoming a weapon, which would no doubt eventually just become a pawn again but this playing piece didn't care. I lived for SOLIDER, I worked as a SOLDIER and essentially, I /was/ SOLIDER. I was what you wanted me to become. It was the little part of something that was I. Really, just /me/.  
  
Was I meant for something so normal though? Apparently not, because you had to change it, didn't you? I was still your experiment, still your specimen. Experiments, to be truly successful had to be tested with all variables accounted for. You were never careful with me, however.  
  
Your mistake. No one else's apart from mine as well. I walked into Jenova's arms. I believed her to be 'mother'; I loved her as 'mother'. The only being that I possibly did love. Selfish though, to be talking or thinking like this? I don't really think so. I watched death consume my own men, I know what pain is and I've seen all that anyone could ever possibly see. Yet, some part of me managed to stay sane when my mind strayed from me. You watched that little silver haired boy scream every time those cells were injected and you watched with the same detachment that I have grown to have.  
  
No, that's not true. I'm not completely detached. I may be my own puppet with the strings still thread, but.  
  
.There's some life here.  
  
//I wasn't pursuing Sephiroth. I was being summoned by him//.  
  
I don't want to continue this. I shouldn't have started, Cloud. I wanted to make you remember the truth because it was going to be through that that I'm going to be stopped. 'Mother' won't let that happen though and I won't. I can't let you kill her, because she is part of me. It won't matter soon. Everything will end and my 'mother' will have her God.  
  
Aries.I heard your prayer and I killed you for it but.I wanted it. I think I'm going to need it because 'mother' can have her God. But he will only be a puppet.  
  
Puppets don't have lives. They don't know love and they can't feel. So, if I'm a puppet before Cloud finds us then I won't be able to stop her death.  
  
//Because you are a.puppet. //  
  
Yes Cloud, you're a puppet. But I need you to be one. I need a puppet to understand a puppet and soon you won't have to worry about who's controlling your strings.  
  
Soon, this puppet's strings will refuse to play.  
  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: If I had enough money, could I own Sephy, please? Aw, why not? Well seeing as no one's going to let me have Sephy for free or even for money, I do not own Final Fantasy (well I own one game of Final Fantasy VII and whatever amount of sanity I pretend to have after that, but no real owning), Square does. (Aw come on, you already own Squall, Laguna, Reno and Kuja. You're not going to miss Sephiroth, now are you?). In addition, I'm also not making any money out of this.if I was, I'd be a hell of a better writer. Thank you, and I'll leave Gwydion to bid you farewell Mr. And Mrs. Lawyers (oh okay! And Miss. Lawyers). Please don't flame me, Gwyd gets upset when he can't play instead. 


End file.
